


Forbidden...

by bavedecrapaud



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Drinking, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sirius Black Lives, Sirius Black x reader - Freeform, Slow Build, Smut, Smuuuuuut!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-24 13:17:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19174084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavedecrapaud/pseuds/bavedecrapaud
Summary: A work place romance couldn't possibly go awry, could it?





	1. Chapter one.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: all characters are assumed 18+

Gradually. That’s how your feelings had started for Sirius. It wasn’t a whirlwind Heathcliffy, roses are red, violets are blue, storm in a tea cup kind of feeling, more a gradual hop, skip and the occasional jump type process.

If you thought very hard you could pin point the start of these feelings to a night when a very drunk woman had taken agin to you at your local pub. Accidentally bumping her as you moved towards the bar she let some particularly foul curse words and assumptions about your personality loose. Not wanting to enrage her further you stood still, quietly pondering how to get out of the situation until a loud “HEY! If you want a fight with Y/N, you’ll have to go through me first!” Was heard from the other side of the bar.

Turning you saw Sirius standing behind you glaring daggers at the lady who’s response to you was “you don’t even bother to fight back yourself, call off your dog.” Which, to her great surprise, caused yourself and Sirius to double over with laughter.

“Fucking weirdos.” she muttered angrily before storming off. And that was it. Sirius was officially not just your work colleague, he was now your friend. Animagus jokes aside, that had turned out to be a very enjoyable evening. He insisted, much to his date’s dismay, that you join them for a drink which ended up being four, or was it five? before the pub closed and kicked you out both stumbling into separate taxis buzzing from a brilliant night of witty banter and mirth.

Sirius was a contractor for the Auror office at the Ministry of Magic where you also worked. As one of the two a senior policy officers for the Public Relations Office, yourself and colleague, Antheia Perenna, had a fair bit to do with the Auror Office thanks to the Head of Department: Alastor ‘Madeye’ Moody. A large chunk of your day was taken up reactively delivering damage control over Moody’s often ‘overzealous’ work methods. He didn’t necessarily care about not causing a stir with his arrests, which meant you would be called down to the 2nd floor and smooth over any ruffled public feathers, something you both found yourselves doing increasingly often.

It was on such an assignment where you were introduced to Sirius. Fed up with the amount of press the Auror office was creating the Minister for Magic requested a trial with an external dark wizard catcher. Hoping that this would reduce the overtime for the Marketing and Communications Department.

“Fuck!” Was what you whispered when you shook his hand.

“Sorry, Y/N I didn’t catch that?” He said, his grey eyes twinkling. He had.

Closing your gaping mouth and trying very hard to coax your eyebrows down to their normal position, you had, literally had your breath taken away by him. The words ‘Greek God’ swum to mind when looking at him, followed by ‘Oh wasfgdhb’ and ‘take me now!’ His dark wavy hair fell to his shoulders highlighting his chiselled cheekbones and razor-sharp jaw. He looked aristocratic until you swept your eyes over his equally gorgeous body noting tattoos peeking out of his shirt collar and down his forearms. He stood with an easy slopping grace, as if he had graced many women, and men, with his presence and just had to wait patiently while they got their breath back.

 

~~~

 

That was October. Two months ago. In those two months you had had many dealings with Sirius. He was professional, polite, and had a very dry sense of humour. He was excellent at bringing in arrests and causing a minimum of chaos for you to smooth over. His relationship with you had moved from acquaintance to work colleagues and since the ‘pub incident,’ to work friends.

He had started to banter with you around the office, calling you nicknames; the current being ‘Sade’ on account of you being – in his own words – “A Smooth Operator!” A complimentary nod to a recent event where Moody had left the pet Crup of his latest arrest at the crime scene; a muggle park. You managing to turn it into a positive story, Exclusive: New breed of Jack Russell terrier: double the tail – double the wag!

It was a pleasant relationship and you enjoyed going to work for the atmosphere and camaraderie you were building with the Aurors now Sirius was here. Apart from the occasional fantasy you had about him, Sirius has changed from an object of lust to a new fond friend….that is until the night of the work Christmas Party.

Each office had season's greetings drinks but the Ministry threw an annual party for its entire staff every year. All Ministry employees looked forward to this evening. Catered, live entertainment, and a fully stocked bar it was a frivolous night, catching up with friends across all departments and cheering the year before the Christmas holidays began. This year was no different. It had been a hard one and you allowed yourself to over indulge.

“Come dance with me, Y/N?” Antheia tugged on your arm.

“Aaaaahh no I need to sit down before I spin myself off the dance floor, why don’t you ask Sirius?” You nudged him as he sat down beside you.

“I’m taking time out as well Antheia, maybe the next one.” He handed you a drink missing Antheia poking her tongue out at you both before turning around and sashaying across the floor.

Sirius was charmed by your chat. He already knew a fair bit about you now but continued to ask about your family, what you were getting up to on weekends, your favourite food, most embarrassing experience, including many stories from your Hogwarts days. It was such an easy conversation you found yourself divulging more and more of your life to him. You also found him to be the most interesting character. Knowing a bit about his nefarious backstory you tried to avoid bringing up Azkaban however he graciously and calmly referred to his past as a shaping force in his motivations and desires now.

You were so engrossed in exchanging anecdotes you lost count of how many songs passed and the rest of your surroundings. Too soon the night was over and Sirius was offering to escort you home. An offer he had no intention to fulfil, and you knew it.

It was a classic case of ‘one too many’ bottles of butter beer and eggnog. One minute you were saying your goodbyes and talking to Sirius outside the Ministry about his Christmas plans, or lack-there-of; the next you were pinned between the front door of Grimmauld Place and Sirius’ incredibly well-formed chest while his mouth explored yours in a frenzy of passion and lust.

~~~

 

You tried not to think of that night too often.

It was lucky the Christmas holiday was upon you and you did not have to ensue any awkward post-drunk-sex-with-your-work-colleague conversation. In fact, Sirius’ contract was up with the Auror Office and he wouldn’t be working at the Ministry in the new year.

This was for the best you reasoned to yourself. You wouldn’t have to face him at work knowing he had intimate carnal knowledge of you and you him.

You wouldn’t have to explain how you scraped the whole length of your leg sneaking out his bedroom window in order to find a quiet disapparation spot out of earshot from his sleeping form.

You wouldn’t have to be reminded of how you surely embarrassed yourself with a man you actually admire. Yes, this was for the best that you wouldn’t be running into Sirius because you wouldn’t be forced to admit to yourself that you actually had a wonderful time and rated the evening as one the best nights you had spent away from your own bed.

No! That couldn’t happen. You weren’t supposed to feel this way. You screwed your eyes up and palmed your face every time that thought crossed your mind. Antheia was going to kill you. You see the reason your tryst with Sirius was eating you up so much was that Antheia, your work colleague, your friend, the one who got you the job at the Ministry in the first place had spent many a glass of wine with you waxing lyrical about Sirius’ lips, his smirk, the way he said “Good morning ladies,” and could she read into that meaning more?

She was supposed to be the one to go home with him after the Christmas party, not you.

She was in love with Sirius and had made that very clear to you on numerous occasions.

You had broken the cardinal rule of friendship. What the heck do you do now?

___


	2. Chapter two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters assumed 18+

“Y/N! How was your Christmas?!” You jumped as Antheia approached your desk. “ I didn’t get a chance to wish you Happy Holidays at the staff party.”  

“Oh? I was there until the end?” You replied fidgeting. “And then…and then I went home.” Not strictly a lie. You did go home after the Christmas party…just via Sirius’ bed first.  

“Oh You should have stayed!” She exclaimed sitting on your desk. “We carried on the night at Soho in central London. Apparently, according to the Muggle Liaison Office, it is where all the good clubs are!” She paused looking behind her, then lowering her voice “I ended up kissing Melvin from Accidental Magic Reversal Squad.” 

“Did you?!!!” Maybe this Sirius issue wasn’t going to be problematic anymore? 

“Yeah, but I wish it was Sirius.” 

 

Ah crap.  

 

“Did you see where he went afterwards?”  

Eyebrows raised, flashes of you sitting up on your knees, a pair of hands; one holding your left breast, the other rubbing sweet circles on your clit while Sirius’ chest pressed against your back as he thrust up into you, ~ _”Oh_ _Godric_ _you feel so good Y/N!”_ ~ breathing into your neck at each thrust.  

“Well…” swallowing hard and preparing to admit to your betrayal. “Actually…” 

“NEW YEAR MEETING STARTS IN TWO MINUTES! COME ON Y/L/N, PERENNA! CHOP CHOP!” You were saved by your boss shooing you into the Ministry entrance lobby where all first meetings of the new year, AGMs, and Evacuations were held; largely because it was the only space capable of fitting all Ministry employees in one room.  

As you made your way to the first floor, Antheia was jabbering on about her Christmas. It was hard to pay attention as your looming confession swirled round your brain, taunting you.  

You had thought about how you would tell Antheia, a lot over the holidays and each time you formed what you considered the ‘right words’ flashes of your tryst would play before your eyes… _Stumbling into the hallway of_ _Grimmauld_ _Place_ _,_ _Sirius’_ _mouth devouring yours, throwing clothes_ _left, right, and centre as you climbed the stairs before somehow breaking the kiss to find yourself_ _in your underwear on Sirius’ bed._  

“…so I said no presents over 10 galleons!” Antheia continued not noticing you not noticing

… _Sirius kissing your inner thigh as he buried his face between your legs, giving you the best orgasm you had ever had…_  

“…a teapot! That’s what he got me!” 

 _Scrapping your fingers down Sirius’ back as he entered you telling you how long he has wanted you, placing his forehead on yours as he steadied his breathing before sliding out of you and rolling his incredibly hard cock back in, hitting you just where you needed._  

“…and then my Great Uncle Archie said he liked my gift but I could tell he was lying!” Antheia finished while you both perched on a bench at the back of the meeting.  

“Mhmmm, that’s great.” You responded lamely.  

Antheia turned to you, “Y/N, were you listening? You…” 

“GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!” The Minister of Magic’s voice boomed over everyone cutting Antheia short.  

“First of all, I would like to wish you all a happy new year. I hope that your holiday break was relaxing and rejuvenating…” As the Minister continued you once again became lost in your thoughts: 

_-Just tell her_

_-She’ll hate you_

_-You’d deserve it_

_-But why?_

_-Because she likes Sirius!_

_-Yes, but you like him too, you just didn’t voice it before she did_

_-Doesn’t matter_

_-Does it? All’s fair in love and war_

_-She’s still going to hate you_

_-What if it was just that one time? Does it still matter?_

_-Well…technically two times. You had sex twice that night._

Maybe it would be best not to tell her? It’s not like you would be dating Sirius, it was just one night and you wouldn’t see him again…  

…come to think of it neither would Antheia. Maybe you could just chalk this up to a lesson learnt in the past: never get drunk at the Christmas party again. The whole night is a farce for lust and debauchery and bad decisions.  

 

For the rest of the morning briefing you half listened to the new policy plans and objectives of the Minister’s Office.  

Thoughts of the Christmas Party still leapt through your mind but instead of making you anxious they gave you a pleasant unsettling fluttery sensation in your abdomen. The scraping of seats and increase in volume of general mutter brought you back to your senses. Getting up, you and Antheia turned towards the lifts to head back to your office, not noticing Madeye Moody striding swiftly towards you.  

“PERENNA, Y/L/N!” Moody called not bothering to stop as he made to stride by.  

“Meet me in my office in half an hour. Got something to discuss with you.” He growled passing you on route to the lifts leaving you both confused and looking at each other.  

“Oh Godric, What has he done now?” You exhaled. Antheia shrugged her shoulders and made to follow Moody.  

“I’ll meet you there.” You called after her. “I need a coffee before this I think.” 

 

~~~

 

Walking down the hallway of the second floor towards Moody’s Office with a warm coffee in your hand, mentally preparing yourself for the mountain of writing you no doubt had to do thanks to Moody’s work ethic, you caught yourself wishing for the months when Sirius was here and you were able to focus on your other tasks without being overwhelmed by the Auror Office.  

Shaking your head slightly, you knocked and then opened the door to Moody’s office.  

It was a strange office. Large but packed with a plethora of dark wizard detectors; a collection of sneakoscopes on the windowsill, dark magic repellers lining the walls, propped up in a corner a long wooden wing shaped relic used years ago to find concealment spells on inanimate objects much like a muggle dowsing stick used to find water in the 16th century, bookshelves full of books on dark magic, wizard law, Defence Against the Dark Arts as well as a board complete with moving documents displaying photos of tracked or wanted wizards, their statuses updating in front of you in real time.  

“Y/L/N, come in and sit down.” Moody called from behind his desk gesturing to a chair in front of you.  

You were caught by Antheia, sitting to your right, wearing an expression of incredulity and elation…that was strange?  

“Happy New Year, Y/N.” You started. You knew that voice. A deep soft voice which caused a swarm of butterflies to take flight in your stomach and all the blood in your system rush to your head and display on your cheeks.  

Sirius Black was standing to your left, taking a seat in the chair next to yours.  

As his grey eyes locked with yours a tingling pulse crept up your body freezing you in position.  

He looked good. Better than good. He looked handsome, and sexy, and you felt a pull to him immediately.  

What was he doing here? 

Answering your thoughts while pointedly indicating to your chair for you to sit, Moody explained. “The extra skills Sirius has added to our ranks as well as the relief to your workloads has been very successful. The Minister has extended Sirius’ contract for a whole year.” 

“That’s a brilliant idea!” Antheia burst out.  

“However, because we, the Auror Office, still have some…” he paused  “some ‘adjustments’ of our processes to do, the Minister has suggested Sirius be the direct line of contact with you – this may help to cover any ‘errors’ the Auror Office makes in the line of duty.”  

“Hrumpf!” Moody laugh-huffed. “Errors VITAL to obtaining CONSTANT VIGILANCE!”   

“What about you, Moody?” You added hurriedly trying to avoid a lecture on how catching bad wizards is more important than unsettling the muggle population. “Do the Aurors still take direction from you?” Surely Moody wouldn’t let Sirius usurp him? 

“Yes of course Y/L/N! I am still in charge! This way I can focus on catching dark wizards and not public perception.” 

“So that means, any and all issues of public relations pertaining to the Auror Office, we are to speak to Sirius now not you!?” Antheia could not contain her glee.  

“Correct. Sirius will liaise with you on my and all Aurors behalf.” Moody nodded while simultaneously and surprisingly gracefully, lifting his bad leg onto his desk before turning to Sirius.  

 

Oh Merlin’s saggy y-fronts. 

 

“Thanks Madeye. I’m looking forward to working with you Y/N.” Sirius’ deep voice did things to your nether region as he looked at you intently before correcting himself quickly, “…with you both.” 

 

___


	3. Chapter three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters assumed 18+

“Oh my Godric Y/N!” Antheia squealed clutching your arm as you both walked back to your desks.

“Sirius! Sirius Black! Here for a whole year! How lucky are we?”

“Yeah heh heh...” you answered faintly. “So lucky...”

“Bags I get the first assignment with him!” Antheia gleamed.

“Yeah sure, go ahead”  
“I will! I’ll just pop down and see if he has one now.” You watched Antheia give a big wink then gamely sway her hips back and forth on route back to the Auror Office.

Ok so you need to rethink things:  
_-You will be seeing Sirius a lot it seems_  
-Antheia is bound to find out  
-It’ll be worse coming from a source other than yourself  
-You need to tell her ASAP  
-Oh Christ she is going to HATE you  
-You deserve it ~your conscience clearly disapproved.

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice Antheia return.  
“Y/N, Sirius wants you.” she called loudly making you jump.  
“WHAT? NO HE DOESN’T!” You squealed turning quickly in your chair.  
“Frowning at you quizzically Antheia corrected herself “no, he wants to see you. He said send him a message when you are free and he’ll come up.”

Oh crap.  
“Oh, I'll just go and see him now, no point wasting an memo and I could use the walk.” you finished lamely.

You hurried off to the Aurors’ floor before Sirius made his way up to your office, Antheia calling out to you as you left: “...Just don’t tell him I have a crush on him, promise?”  
“Sure.”  
Bollocks.

There goes your main reason for getting Sirius to stay quiet about the fact you both shagged. On second thought, Sirius didn’t seem like the type to talk – he had a whole mysterious vibe going on but in a governmental office – things got around. You would just have to tell Antheia as soon as you worked up the nerve.

Yes, you collected yourself as you strode down the hallway. It was clear what you needed to do:

 _-See what Sirius wanted._  
-Tell Antheia  
-Spend the rest of the year trying to make it up to her.

 

Sirius was standing on the second floor chatting to Moody and a bunch of Aurors when you appeared out of the elevator.

Once he spotted you he excused himself and walked towards you, devastating smile appearing on his features.  
“Y/N! Hi, do you have a minute?” He gestured to a door immediate left of the elevator.  
“Yes, Antheia said you wanted to see me?” He followed you into what you assumed was his new office judging by the lack of furniture and a box a new files sitting on his desk waiting to be unpacked.

 

“I’d offer you a seat but they haven’t furnished my office yet!” Was Sirius nervous? You smiled, inclining your head encouraging him to keep talking.

“I wanted to give you this,” he moved towards the box on his desk and pulled your black cloak from it.  
“My coat!”  
“Yes, you left it at my house after the Christmas party. I didn’t get a chance to get your address before you left otherwise I would have returned it earlier.”

“My address?”  
“Yes.”  
“You know where I work though, you could have owled it here?”  
“I could have.” Sirius hummed. “I wasn’t sure if you would be here and wanted to have to explain to the mail room why your coat was at my house?”  
“Yup. Good point” you concurred.  
“Also,” he said hurriedly noticing you reaching for the door. “I wanted your address as I didn’t know if I would see you again. The Ministry didn’t offer me the contract until just before New Year.”  
“You wanted to see me again?” This threw you. Sirius Black wanted to see you.  
“Yes I do.” The tense change in his sentence was not lost on you.  
Sensing your hesitation but concluding the wrong reasoning he hastily added: “that is of course if you wanted to see me. No pressure, I know it might seem odd now since we still work together.  
“No, I mean yes it is...but that’s not why...I mean I’d like to...ah I'm not...”

“BLACK!” Moody’s dulcet tones rang out throughout the office walls – how did he do that?

“MY OFFICE TWO SECONDS!”  
“Ah got to go but can we continue this later? Over dinner? Tonight?” he searched your face for an answer with such concern as he teetered on the edge of the doorway. It was a look of earnest longing and pure hope and you found yourself nodding in answer.

His genuine smile was breath-taking. “Great! I'll come meet you at your office 5pm?”

“Yes.” Then remembering your friend, the one you were supposed to be helping, “Actually. I'll meet you down here, it’s on the way” you shrugged.  
“Looking forward to it.” he touched your arm as you both exited his office before parting ways.

By now you knew two things:  
1\. You liked Sirius judging by the tingling sensation appearing on your arm where he touched you

And...

2\. You were shaping up to start the year as the worst best friend ever.

 

~~~

 

“...and then he felt so bad he had to open doors for me, put on my coat, and scratch my nose if it itched – James had performed the sticking charm so well I had a quaffle glued to each hand for two whole days. ”  
“How did you go to the toilet?” Although after uttering this you were not sure you wanted to know. Sirius merely pumped his eyebrows up and down causing you to snort with laughter into your tonic water wiping tears from your eyes.  
You had had another stellar evening with him and even managed to drop some positive anecdotes about Antheia as well as sticking to one drink and remaining on tonic water for the rest of the evening.

“Y/N?” Sirius’ voice had changed to one of hesitancy,  
You breathed deeply, knowing what was coming.  
“Y/N I...I have to ask, why did you leave so soon that morning? Did I do something?”  
“Oh, no Sirius, not at all! I am so sorry you thought that!”  
He looked relieved and you continued. “I wasn’t sure how you would feel finding me in your bed that morning – we were so drunk and...” you trailed off so Sirius softly answered.

“For the record, we weren’t ‘that’ drunk and I can assure you I would have felt nothing but delight waking up next to you.” His grey eyes were soft and holding yours.

“Well that’s the thing.” You started. Oh God this was hard to voice, especially when he looked at you so intently, eyes filled with twinkling passion.  
“I was also concerned about how that might look for me at work. It took me a long time to get where I am now. I know it’s a poor excuse but I was afraid of the gossip and that I might lose the respect of the Auror Office. Women tend to get a worse reputation, no matter the situation in work place fraternising."

Sirius slowly nodded.

“I understand. It's just a shame that’s all.” Seeing your look of sadness he placed his hand on yours. “Seriously! It’s fine - we can just be friends, you look so concerned!”  
You exhaled. Pained at not being able to give him the real reason. What you had explained so far was also true but the more time you spent with this man, the more you wanted to throw caution to the wind and break your own rules.

Quickly trying to change the conversation you searched your brain for a question “So Sirius, apart from this one, what is the worst date you have ever been on?”  
_Oh seriously Y/N!_ Mentally face palming yourself you waited for Sirius to stop laughing.  
“I didn’t think this was a date Y/N but I am happy you consider it so!” His slow lazy grin mesmerised you and you didn’t even correct yourself.

Seeing you blush he chuckled softly before continuing. “Apart from this one, as you say, there have been several cringe-worthy dates of note. Most after Azkaban.” He paused. “Actually I shouldn’t have been dating, I wasn’t emotionally stable but a few of my mates thought it would be good for me, so.” He finished holding his hands up in a ‘what-are-you gonna-do gesture.’

You smiled knowingly at this statement. Friends with the best intentions can get it so wrong sometimes.  
“The first two turned out to be reporters from various trashy magazines: Witch Weekly for example, wanting an ‘inside scoop’ on ‘Sirius Black: Life After Incarceration!’

“Fuck! Sirius that’s terrible!” you were shocked.  
“Yeah!” He laughed. “That definitely put me off for a while. Then the rest have been pretty normal, last one being the one you met at the pub the night I saved you from a drunk woman tearing you a new one.”  
You choked on your drink at this point, wiping tonic from your chin as you fondly recalled that memory.

“Ha! I do remember that night, it was very enjoyable.” As an afterthought you added, “sorry for crashing your date by the way...I don’t think she was too impressed.”  
He waved your apology away. “Not at all, I knew it wasn’t going to work anyway.”

You gave him a quizzical look, “how so?”

He looked at you for a full three seconds before answering, “there was someone else I would rather be with.”  
You swallowed hard. God Sirius was good and you were losing the will to resist.  
He wasn’t pushing you or leading any flirtatious behaviour but he was being VERY honest and it killed you...exquisitely.

Excusing yourself to the bathroom you took your time splashing water on your face and holding the sink internally reminding yourself of your original priorities: Antheia. Remember her Y/N? Your purpose was to get Sirius interested in Antheia. However, the desire for Sirius was quietly and quickly overruling your priorities: Antheia who?

~~~

“Thank you for such a fun evening Sirius, but I better head home now – early start tomorrow.” Sirius was visibly surprised about your announcement as soon as you returned to the table but he rallied and replied “ok sure, let me get the cheque.”

“Oh, no need! I took care of that en route to the bathroom.”  
He looked shocked as you added “Consider it a thank you for making my work life so much more bearable these past few months.” He raised his eyebrows higher and you faltered, “you know, not having to deal with Madeye’s mistakes so much.”  
Sirius’ eyes crinkled with his smile.  
“You are most welcome Y/N! But I get the next one...non date of course” he added correcting himself.  
“Maybe.” was all you could manage to reply.

“At least let me walk you home then?”  
“Ok, my flat is just around the corner.” As you exited the restaurant a sense of excitement took over you that you tried and failed to push deep down.  
You both walked in silence, it was a comfortable silence, the air was brisk and you could see your breath in front of you as you walked.

 

“This is me.” You pointed to a stoop leading up to a pleasant white façade, vines of hibernating wisteria draping languidly across the window ledges. You took a step up towards the front door and turned back towards Sirius.

“Well, good night Sirius.”  
“Goodnight Y/N.”

He didn’t move away. Neither did you.  
“Thank you again for a lovely evening.”  
“The pleasure is all mine, Y/N.”  
Still no movement.  
He wasn’t making this easy for you.  
You leaned in to peck him on the cheek goodnight and as your lips neared his skin he turned his head slightly towards you, making the corner of your mouth brush against his only for the briefest of moments.

It was the smallest, most intimate gesture and it floored you.  
You could hear his breathing speed up and he closed his eyes, resting his forehead on yours.  
“We shouldn’t.” You breathed.  
“I know.” He responded, “but I really, really want to.”  
You lifted your head up and looked at him; his eyes opened and they were full of lust and desire.

His scent was infiltrating your senses, clouding your mind as the last remnant of will slipped away and you whispered “fuck it.” You crashed your lips to his and he responded immediately. Hungrily tasting and gripping each other like it was the last time you would ever kiss.

 

You were vaguely aware of unlocking your front door, leading Sirius into the small and quaint open plan kitchen/living room before running up the stairs to your bedroom.  
This was starting to feel very similar to the night of the Christmas Party apart from one obvious difference: tonight you were both sober.

The feelings, touches, and kisses were intricately more sensitive and while you definitely enjoyed your first night with Sirius, tonight the sensations he was eliciting from your body were stronger and far more intense.

You hoped it was feeling like this for him and the way he moaned into your mouth when you touched him, assured you he was.  
Falling with you onto the bed Sirius was feverishly kissing every part of you he could reach as he lay over you, peeling your clothes off one by one.

You could feel his erection pressing against you and it was sublime.

Just when you couldn’t take it any longer, he stopped, breathing raggedly and looking into your eyes. “Y/N are you sure?”

His hesitation instantly lit a fire of irrational insecurity in your brain, “y..yes Sirius unless you don’t want to?”

“Oh no!” Sirius interrupted. “I want to. Can I tell you a secret?”  
You nodded.

“I’ve wanted to since you first shook my hand and swore under your breath at me.”

“You did hear that.” You groaned.  
“I did.” He said his grey eyes twinkling with mischief. “And it gave me hope that a beautiful – and what I soon learnt: smart and funny – woman might want me.”

You kissed him deeply and he groaned pushing his groin harder against yours.

Breaking the kiss Sirius asked you again, “but your work and no fraternising with colleagues rule, I don’t want to be something you would regret.” He looked sad at this point and you couldn’t help but stroke his face and tenderly say: “I could and would never regret you Sirius.” By now you knew this to be true. Whether or not you were supposed to be here, Sirius had you and there was no way now you were going to hold yourself back from him. Not when to do so felt so unnatural.

Rolling him onto his back with new determination to bring Sirius to the utmost pleasure you opened his shirt and slowly took off his shoes and pants.

His muscled chest rose and fell with each heavy breath and as you took him in your mouth he let out such a guttural moan you almost came undone then and there.

Long wet licks up and down his shaft, firm strokes and nails digging into his thighs; Sirius was a mess. He wrung your sheets in his fists, nearly losing it when you picked up one of his hands, placing it on the back of your head, giving him leverage to pull you to him and plunge himself deeper.

You could feel him start to pulse in your mouth, his breathing grew, if possible, faster and he could not stop the moans or expletives erupting from his mouth.

“Fuck Y/N! Oh you’re gonna...I’m gonna...Fuck me!” Sirius felt a surge of pleasure whip through his body lighting magnific fires in his limbs as he came hard.

He was still catching his breath minutes later when you stood beside the bed holding two glasses of water and wearing a very satisfied smirk on your face.

“Y/N, thank you! That was...whooo.” He propped himself up on an elbow as he gladly took the water you were offering.  
You hummed happily sliding in next to him, setting your water on the bed side table. “Good.”  
After the incredible head he gave you on your first night together you were glad of the opportunity to give him what you assumed, looking from his quivering legs to his pleasantly amazed face, just as good a time.

He chuckled warily and kissed you.

Rolling over and turning off your light you wished him sweet dreams.

Neither of you questioning him sleeping over.  
Sirius set his water down, slipped off his shirt, and pulled you so your back was pressed against his chest. Wrapping an arm around you and burying his face in your hair he whispered “Goodnight Y/N.”

 

Though it was a cold winter night and neither of you were wearing any clothes, it was the coziest you had felt in a long time.

~~~

_Gone home to get changed, see you at work. x S._

Smiling, you read Sirius’ note which was propped up next to a steaming cup of coffee on your kitchen table.

You drank deep hoping the coffee would kick in quickly. Though you fell asleep at a reasonable hour, having Sirius Black in your bed running his hands up and down your body was rather distracting. Apparently the man was touchy feely in his sleep – not that you minded but it only served to turn you on further and keep you awake.

~~~

Arriving at your office you realised in your haste to leave last night you had left the coat Sirius returned on your desk chair.  
Bugger.  
“Morning Y/N!” Antheia’s voice rang out behind you as she walked into the office with a brief in her hands looking smug.  
“Why are you so late? And why do you have two coats?”  
Shit.  
You had thought about Antheia last night between slumbers and came to the conclusion that though you had not voiced your admiration of Sirius as well, you had every right to see him. It was a lame argument but it helped to dilute flickering feelings of guilt, for now.

“Uh I left it at the Christmas party...someone must have returned it.”  
“Ok, cool, whatever, listen I’ve just been seeing Sirius.”  
“WHAT?” You half yelled.  
“Relax Y/N, in his office just now. He, well technically Moody, gave me the first damage control brief of the year.”  
“Really? Already?”  
“Don’t ask.” she rolled her eyes. “I’m going to roll out the smoothing over protocol on this one I hope that’s ok? You weren’t here so I put my hand up. Hopefully it gets me more meetings with Sirius.” she finished winking.  
“Yeah, Anthea about that.”  
“Oh Y/N you haven’t told him I like him have you? Because I would die?”  
“No I haven’t but...”  
“Whew...also don’t tell him I was out to dinner with Melvin last night.”  
“Melvin? From..”  
“The Accidental Magic Reversal Squad, yes.” She bent low and in an obvious stage whisper and uttered, “the one I kissed? He asked me so I said yes, it was actually quite nice.”  
“B...but” you stammered “You like Sirius?”

Antheia did not have time to respond however as a deep voice called behind you, “Good morning ladies.”  
You turned around to see Sirius, hands in his pockets leaning against the door frame grinning at you.  
“Y/N can I please have a word when you are free?”  
“Yes sure...um I'm free now.”  
Still holding two coats you followed Sirius down to his floor and into his office. Placing the coats on a nearby chair you felt Sirius sidle up beside you and slowly spin you around. He grabbed your face, kissing you deeply. You melted into his touch, tangling your hands in his hair and tugging gently.  
“Sirius.” You breathed as he moved from your mouth to your earlobe.  
“Mmmm?” His muffled response letting you know he was only half listening as he continued down, his hands exploring your torso.  
“Sirius!” Louder this time and he halted his assault on your neck, stopping to look at you his eyes cloudy with passion.  
“You wanted to see me?!”  
“Ahh yes, I wanted to give you this.” He leaned towards his desk handing you a coffee which you gratefully accepted – the more coffee the better today.  
“This is because I know I kept you awake last night, I apologise.” His smirk completely ruined his apology letting you know that he wasn’t at all sorry. You rolled your eyes, he laughed and said “Well, I apologise for taking the spotlight not giving you the happy ending I know you enjoyed our first night.”

You blushed hiding your face behind the cup.  
“And this is to thank you for letting me keep you up last night.” He pulled a single red tulip from behind a stack of papers on his desk.  
Stunned, it took you a while to collect your thoughts, what does this mean?

“Oh Sirius, thank you.., I ah didn’t peg you as a romantic!”  
He winked, wolfishly.  
Taking the tulip from his hand, not knowing how to react you settled with: “It’s really lovely...um.” _Um! Really?_

Luckily Sirius looked merely amused. “I know.” He held up his hands in defence. “We are at work, I promise I’ll keep it discrete, but this is just a hopeful bribe to woo you and let me back into your place again.”  
You laughed, feeling relived. He was VERY smooth.

“Did it work?” He ran his finger down your forearm and licked his lower lip.  
Smelling the tulips sweet, heavy scent you smiled seductively at him before turning around and making your way out of the room, pausing to look over your shoulder and remark: “Maybe” before disappearing out the door.

The way he bit his lip at your retreating form stayed on your mind for the rest of the day.

___


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A work place romance couldn't possibly go arwy, could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: all characters are assumed 18+

The next few weeks followed a similar pattern for you and Sirius. You both acted politely and professionally towards each other at work, saving all your pent-up frustration for the evenings.

It was glorious. Sirius was not as disciplined as you at keeping his hands to himself. He was often stealing kisses behind closed doors, letting his fingers brush across your arms, waist, arse, whatever he could reach as he passed you in the corridor even circling your thighs with his thumb under the table as you were seated next to each other in a meeting.

You were fairly ‘harsh’ on him regarding these indiscretions, saving his punishments for the evening by teasing him relentlessly and holding out until you literally had him on his knees, begging.

You had a sneaking suspicion that he quietly enjoyed this due to the fact these ‘punishments’ did not stop him pushing boundaries at work.

~~~  
Things at work weren’t all rosy however. Antheia was getting suspicious. You never had time after work anymore and she was closing in to the fact you must be dating someone. She was also complaining that Sirius always seemed to choose you to to come to first for questions, issues, PR briefs even though you had requested he do the opposite.

You almost told her countless times, always faltering at the final moment. It had gone too far and nothing you thought could soften the blow that you were sleeping with Sirius.

Truth be told you weren’t only sleeping with him, you had been on dinner dates, weekend activities and spent a few Saturday nights getting to know his friends.

However, hiding the truth from Antheia was eating you up. It all came to a head one evening at your flat. The guilt had turned to anger at yourself and with no one to take your anger out on you turned to the nearest person: Sirius.

It was a stupid argument, the catalyst: his toothbrush. You found it in your bathroom and realised he must have brought it intending to leave it here.  
Filled with mixed emotions of longing and turmoil at what was essentially turning into a forbidden relationship you picked a fight, did your best at pushing him away suggesting things were moving too fast and you think you should slow down and see other people, Antheia being the subtext of that argument.

It was an avalanche of irrationality. It started small but the more you got going the bigger your argument became until you couldn’t see what you were saying or what it meant – you were blind to your pain and just wanted it out.

“What do you mean?” Sirius had sat up, stiff backed and turned white.

“I don’t know!” You huffed out. “I mean you are still free to see other people; this can’t last whatever it is – we are just work colleagues after all.” You could see that had stung him.

“Just work colleagues? If this is about the toothbrush, I can remove it?”

“No, it’s not about the stupid toothbrush!” You were in full flight now – tears streaming down your cheeks, he tried to reach you but you shook him off.  
“This fucking hurts Sirius.”

“What does, I don’t understand?”

“You, me, us! We are not supposed to be together!”

“What, why?

You were shaking with sobs now. You couldn’t tell him why - the karma of hiding this from your friend had finally turned up and it was a big one. Anguished and thinking of Antheia you yelled, “I wasn’t supposed to be with you, I have ruined everything!”

Blanching and swallowing hard Sirius scrapped together the only conclusion that made sense to him, “Is there someone else?”  
Technically there was: Antheia but not in the way he was thinking however you nodded sadly not registering that colossal mistake.

“Right.” He said his lips tight.

Waiting for a berating you deserved you closed your eyes. Instead Sirius got up walked out the front door slamming it shut. You heard the roar of his motorbike as he sped off into the night.

~~~  
You didn’t sleep a lot over the next few weeks, and from the looks Antheia gave you across the board room table each morning, your heavy concealer was not doing anything to dampen the dark circles under your eyes.

It was killing you to stay away from Sirius and stomach this hurt but part of you knew that this is what you deserved for getting into a forbidden situation.  
To dilute the pain you focused on work, turning up early after not enough sleep and staying late. Your boss was delighted but stopped by your desk more than necessary for ‘a quick chat’ you knew she had noticed your change in demeanour and was checking up on you. This would have made you smile if you weren’t so numb.

“Y/N?” She cautiously approached your desk. You looked up and saw her eyes, a maternal concern in them. “Not that I’m not grateful for all the long hours you are putting in but I seem to be missing some reports for the Auror office?”

“Oh.” You stumbled. “Those are with Antheia, I gave her the briefs I had in exchange for finishing the budgeting quarter.”

“Got it, but now that you have finished the budget could you please help Perenna with the Auror briefs? They have been piling up this week.”

Oh shit.

“Yes sure, happy to.” You gave her an exhausted smile.

You stood up. Ok. It’s ok you can do this. Yes, you have probably, definitely, irreparably broken any kind of friendship, camaraderie, or rapport with Sirius but you had to put work first. You couldn’t very well get a new job, could you? Or could you? No! No, don’t be dramatic.

You were brought out of your inner monologue by Antheia calling your name, “Y/N! Guess what?!”

“Shoot.” Feigning interest you turned to her.

“I’m going out for drinks with Sirius tonight!” She looked ecstatic.

Your stomach dropped to the floor and you were barely able to squeak out an “Oh…ok you are… that’s…great…”  
She shook your shoulder too excited to see the blood draining from your face.

“Yes, I took the bull by the horns and asked him.”

“Oh, you did? I thought you wanted to play it coy?” You needed to sit down soon.

“I did but if I don’t go for it, I will never have the chance, he’s cutting his contract short – just heard it from Moody this morning.”

Ok you really needed to sit down.

“He’s what??” Feeling the room spin now.

Oh no no no no no was this because of you?

~  _Yes of course stupid! What else would it be?_ ~

Your conscience was really not holding back.

“Yeah Moody tried to talk him out of it, has asked him to take the weekend to think it over.” She gave you a soft smile and moved over to her desk.

Before you could control it, your legs were walking you towards the elevator and your fingers were pushing the buttons directing the lift to Sirius’ floor.

The Sirius you know wouldn’t give up so easily but then again, he did have a dramatic streak. You had only found that out during one of the weekends you met his friends and a tipsy Remus Lupin had told you what he was like when he lost any kind of card game. Wanting to see this for yourself, the next day you suggested a game of poker and boy the man could pout!

His office door was open and he was sitting at his desk reading a memo. You knocked and he looked up. His expression was unreadable – he didn’t invite you in let alone utter a greeting so you hesitantly entered, moving tentatively towards his desk.

“I heard you are leaving.” Breaking the silence, you stood before him willing him to speak.

He nodded so quickly, if you had blinked you would have missed it.

“I hope that is not because of me, Sirius?”

He said nothing and continued to stare at you.

“Because if it is, I think I need to tell you something…” oh how to even begin. You stared at the floor and when he didn’t tell you to leave you took that as a sign to continue.

“I am so sorry if I disappointed you…no I know I did – you don’t deserve it – I definitely do….and being with you had been the best months of my life. You really, you made me… no make me…” you collected yourself clearing your throat to stop your cracking voice and corrected yourself.

“You make me…” Argh, you closed your eyes hating the words for making you stumble.

“But I shouldn’t have…it wasn’t right – not you!” You hastily added. “You were so right but it was killing me.”

“Because you are seeing someone else, I get it.” Sirius had finally spoken and his voice was soft and clear.

“What? No!” You so desperately wanted him to understand but for all the wrong you had felt you had done to Antheia you couldn’t and wouldn’t break at least one promise to her by telling Sirius she likes him. “I’m not seeing anyone else.”

He looked genuinely very confused at this point. “But you said there was someone else?” Sirius’ voice was rushed now, he had stood up behind his desk and looked at you intently, eyebrows furrowed. God he was sexy when he was stern.

“There is but not in the way you are thinking.” You ran your hands through your hair in frustration. Why? WHY! You should have told Antheia all along and save yourself, but mainly him, from this torture.

“Y/N, I’m not here to play games, are you or are you not seeing someone?” Sirius had moved round his desk towards you.

“No…but I” But you never finished your sentence. A piercing alarm went off signalling an emergency situation and all Aurors needed to move and be briefed.  
Sirius gave you one last look before shaking his head and saying: “I can’t, I’ve got to go.”

Holding back tears you nodded swallowing a sob.

~~~

“AH FUCK IT!” Antheia was fuming when you returned to your office.

“Typical! I finally get a date with Sirius and suddenly a dragon gets loose in Shoreditch dragging all the Aurors away!” If you weren’t so upset you would have laughed at her enraged face.

“A dragon? Surely that’s Magi-Creatures department?” You questioned.

“It is but the Aurors have to go check for foul play.”

“How do you know this anyway?” You asked her.

Strangely, Antheia blushed before answering. “Melvin told me; he just sent a message – he was there before dealing with a mishap – apparently that’s how the dragon got out.”

“What’s going on with you two?”

“Well nothing, we have caught up a few times and I guess we talk a lot…he’s nice.”

You looked at her, “then why do you want to go out with Sirius, sounds like you have a dreamboat already?”

She looked down at her desk and shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ve lusted over Sirius since Christmas I guess, before I met Melvin, I didn’t really think about it.”

You sighed smiling at her, “Well, lucky you having two men to choose from.”

Antheia frowned at you. “Aren’t you dating someone?”

“No, no one.” You responded sadly.

“You’ve been MIA of late, I thought you were seeing someone?”

You just smiled weakly at her, turning back to your desk and said over your shoulder: “Don’t worry, you’ll still have your date – I’ll take care of any PR situation for today.” Godric, it was the least you could do you thought to yourself.

~~~

**BANG! BANG! BANG!**

“Mmfph.” You rolled over in your sleep.

**BANG! BANG! BANG!**

It was getting louder. You rubbed your eyes and looked at the clock: 1230am

**BANG! BANG! BANG!**

Someone was knocking, none too gently, on your front door.

“I’m coming! I’m COMING ahhh.” You yelled as you fumbled around in the dark looking for clothes. Since you and Sirius had started to sleep in the nude, you continued to do so liking how the sheets felt over your skin.

Stubbing your toe twice and hitting your head on the bed post you managed to pull on an oversized shirt of sorts as you made your way downstairs to the front door.  
It had occurred to you that the banging could be from burglars but what kind of thieves or nefarious characters announce themselves before they rob you? Curiosity got the better of you and rubbing your sore head you opened the door to see Sirius, clearly drunk, leaning against the doorway, his hand steadying him.

Seeing you he moved his hand to your shoulder shifting you aside as he stumbled into your flat.

“Wherrriss he?” He slurred.

“Where is who?” Fuck he was drunk.

“Your ‘fancy man!’” He said the words ‘fancy man’ in a high pitched Victorian accent before hiccuping twice.

“Sirius What?” You held your hands out to try and steady him but he pushed you away and made to move upstairs.

“I wanna word.”

“Sirius, there is no one here!”

“Yiss theris look! You’re even wearing hisss SHIRT!” He yelled the last word while making a swiping gesture at the air in front of you and stumbling back into the bannister then trying to find the start of the staircase.

“Oh merlin…” You palmed your face, trying to reason with a drunk person was a nightmare you best just follow him and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.  
“C’mere!” Sirius was climbing the stairs two at a time looking like a baby gazelle. If you weren’t so shocked at his sudden appearance you would have found the sight of Sirius Black casing your flat, pissed as a fart, looking for a mystery man rather funny.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date with Antheia?” You called out after him following his route into the bathroom.

“Don’t change the subject!” Sirius called back, looking around finding the bathroom empty and moving towards your bedroom. He burst through the door and yelled ‘Expelliarmus!’ at your bed.

Turning on the light you folded your arms leaning against the door while you waited for his eyes to adjust to the brightness. “When you have finished disarming my bed, can you please sit down? I’m worried you are going to fall over and hurt yourself..or worse, break something of mine…”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” He deadpanned “there is s’mone here, you’re wearing hisss shirt. Wherisss ‘he?’” Sirius sat, unceremoniously, on your bed looking up at you.

“Ok first of all, you and I are the only ones here, this is YOUR shirt – you must have left it here, and ‘he’ is nowhere because he doesn’t exist.” You paused looking at Sirius’ softening expression. “I meant what I said, I am not and have not been seeing anyone else but you.”

Sirius screwed up his face like the act of thinking was painful.

“But then why did you break up with me?”

As soon as he said that you realised that clearly, whatever it was between you and Sirius was more important to him than you originally thought.  
“It hurt, it hurt so fucking much Y/N!”

You sat next to him and rubbed his back. You were just starting to understand that you had kept the wrong secret and not told the correct one. Taking a deep breath you turned his face towards you and said: “I didn’t do it because I wanted to Sirius, I did it because I am a terrible friend.”

Seeing him open his mouth to query you, you pressed on, “Antheia Sirius, Antheia! She has gone on about how much she likes you basically since you arrived. I was supposed to help her date you, instead…” you swallowed. “Instead I fell for you and dated you myself.” Looking down you clasped your hands together. “I couldn’t take it anymore- things were starting to get serious and I panicked. The guilt flooded in and I felt so wretched. I’m so sorry for hurting you – I understand if you never want to see me again but please don’t leave work, you are so good at what you do and you have made it better for all of us. If it’s that bad I’ll ask to move departments.” You looked at him frantically, willing him to understand.

Sirius’ face had not changed from that of shocked confusion since you had started talking. Now you had stopped and looked at him he opened his mouth to speak.

“Y/N?”

“Yes Sirius.”

“Y/N…I” he lifted his hand to reach for you, then dropped it adding “Y/N I think I need to lie down.”

You sighed helping him on the bed. You removed his shoes and placed your duvet over him. Turning off the light you climbed in beside him and closed your eyes. It had felt good to let all that had eaten you up out. Wondering foolishly if adding the part about falling for Sirius was a mistake, but as you listened to Sirius’ drunken snores, you doubted whether he would remember it or, in fact, anything in the morning.

  
~~~

When you woke the memory of last night and Sirius’ visit came crashing down. You turned over quietly so as not to wake him only to find the other side of the bed empty. On further inspection he was not in the bathroom nor in any other room of the flat. No note, just emptiness that the lack of his presence caused.

You wandered aimlessly around you flat for the next hour – too early to get ready for work and too late to go back to sleep.

You wondered what Sirius was thinking; was he embarrassed about his outburst or just disgusted at finding himself in your bed? Did he remember anything? Not paying attention to how you were dressing yourself you half heartedly made an effort to finally get ready for work not distinguishing clothing items as you dragged them over your body. You were focusing on what you had to do – finish the confessions of last night and tell Antheia.

~~~

“Antheia, can I have a word please?”

She looked up at you as you stood in front of her desk. “Yes sure…are you ok?”

“Just come with me.” You turned and led her towards the supply closet at the end of the hallway. Opening the door you gestured for her to follow you.

“Y/N I repeat, are you ok? I’m only asking this because you look like you haven’t slept in eight years, you’ve just lead me to the stationery closet and you are wearing two shirts.”

“Ah shit.” You replied noticing she was right – two items of the same piece of clothing was becoming a trend for you.

“I got dressed in the dark, there are no meeting rooms free, no I’m not ok and I don’t want anyone to overhear us.” You pinched your nose between your fingers and took a deep breath.

“Antheia, I have been seeing Sirius, it started a few months ago when we went home together after the Christmas party. I tried not to get involved but I did and I couldn’t tell you.”

Antheia lifted her eyebrows her mouth opening slightly.

You bulldozed on wanting to get the confession out of you like spitting poison, not stopping to let her speak. You told her everything right down to the part where you expected her to disown you and how truly awful you feel. “I fought against it since you told me you were interested and I was doing well until well that night then it sort of snowballed. I’m so sorry – for what it’s worth, I haven’t ever felt this bad.”

Antheia considered you for a moment. “I know.”

“You..What?” You spluttered, appalled.

“I mean, I figured. The way he looks at you and last night, our ‘date’” She signed quotation marks with her hands as you rushed, “oh my gosh yes, you had a date – listen I won’t stand in the way -I hope you can be happy and have fun…” She silenced you, waving her hands in front of your face in a ‘shushing’ gesture.  
“As I was saying our ‘date’ he mainly talked about you. It was clear he is into you…if not love.”

“I’m so sorry Antheia, I ruined your date, I know you were looking forward to this.” You started to silently cry. Antheia’s face softened and she placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N, you had every right to like him but you should have told me, I went on about him and now I feel a fool.” She shook her head. “If you had told me I could have figured out sooner that the spark wasn’t there between Sirius and I…maybe I could have perused other interests.” Her eyes glazed over at this point until you sniffed, bringing her back to the reality of you both standing quite close, in a small store cupboard at work.

“It’s ok.” She looked at your tear stained face, “I will get over this but I may be a little annoyed for a while – you really should have just told me.” You nodded dropping your head.

“Is there anything else? I have a coffee date ahhh meeting with Melvin.” She corrected herself and blushed quickly opening the door and stepping back into the hallway.

You knew Antheia, she didn’t hold grudges but you could tell she was disappointed in you – that stung far more and you had half hoped for an angry outburst.  
Wiping your face, you brushed the front of your two shirts smoothing them out as an act of collecting yourself to head back to work.

Antheia turned back to you and caught your wrist. “For what it’s worth I think you should see Sirius, he really likes you. Drinks a bit though?” She hummed curiously before striding off.

~~~

  
“He’s not here.” Moody abruptly told you when you found Sirius’ office empty, moving to Moody’s to ask where he was.

“Well right, I did work that part out Madeye. Judging by his empty office. When will he be in?” You smiled sweetly and a little dangerously at Moody subtly telling him not to fuck with you today. Moody eyed you for a brief second then said, “he won’t be, called in sick.” Before swiftly turning away leaving you confused and slightly panicked alone on the second floor corridor.

Your mind worked in overdrive:  
_-no no no! He can’t leave, this is your fault_  
-did Moody say he was leaving though or just not in today?  
-he has until Monday to decide  
-has he decided already and written his job off?  
-no he is hungover, remember  
-but he can take a draught for that  
-what if he’s mortally injured?  
-then he wouldn’t be calling in sick would he?  
-well then why…?  
Your whole body sagged as the awful and most likely reason zinged through your brain: he just doesn’t want to see you.

The day moved on so slowly it was almost if the clock was in slow motion. You had performed all of your assignments, tripping through meetings, breaks, and tasks on auto pilot. All with one confused dilemma bouncing around your head: You needed to see Sirius, but you were sure he didn’t want to see you.

By the time the clock finally hit 5pm you were out of the office like a shot, dodging colleagues and questions of Friday night pints as you raced out the door and onto the street. Too bad if Sirius didn’t want to see you, you wanted to explain how much he meant to you and how idiotic you had been so at least he didn’t leave his contract thinking you were someone you were not. Hopefully he would hear you out.

You had decided to call round to his house and ask to see him knowing that if Sirius refused to come to the door, Remus who was staying with him as he did once every month, would.

Remus indeed answered the door, appearing with a pallid complexion causing you to wince at his obvious illness. “Hi Remus, how are you? You look…. well…” you trailed off.

He smiled kindly, “nice to see you, Y/N what can I do for you?”

“I’ve come to speak with Sirius, May I?” You pointed inside; wordlessly asking entry to the house.

“I’m afraid he’s not here.” Remus looked at you with a strange expression, was it pity? You looked away before it could fully form on his face not wanting to break down in front of him.

Oh. So he didn’t want to speak with you.

You dropped your head for the second time that day, nodding slowly and turning to leave. Before you had taken a step, Remus added “he mentioned something about visiting a haunt from last night.” Remus winked at your hopeful expression. You replied a quick thanks before rushing off.

Which bar was Sirius at last night? Antheia had asked him so perhaps she had suggested the bar? You knew of three favourite watering holes of hers and set off to the first as fast as you could.

After several hours of aparating to every possible establishment Antheia could have taken him to last night with no luck you trudged slowly home. It was dark, cold, and you were near starving having not eaten all day.

Shoulders drooping slowly with no energy to apparate inside your flat you dragged your feet around the corner of your street and headed towards home.

As you lifted your head, nearing your house, street lamps illuminating only a few metres in front of you, you saw a figure sitting on your stoop watching you.

Hand on your wand you drew nearer, eyes adjusting to the sight you stopped and your breathing hitched.

There, sitting patiently in his black leather jacket was Sirius Black.

“Hullo Y/N.” Your legs had moved of their own accord again, you stood before him taking in his features as he stood drawing up his full height: his dark wavy hair, grey penetrating eyes, stubble rough on his sharp jaw, chest hair peeking out from his shirt which was undone quite low for a crisp spring evening. Tight jeans shaping his athletic legs…realising you were literally looking him up and down you blushed, forming words of hopefully a greeting, “Sirius…I..I’ve been looking all over for you. Remus said you were…” his smile took you off guard, “I know, he sent me a message – he’s too cryptic sometimes he knew I was here.” He continued to look at you waiting for you to speak.

You had spent the entire day overrun with things you wanted to tell Sirius but at the moment he stood before you, everything shed from your mind and you continued to stare at his beautiful form.

Finally mustering some sort of cognitive control, you muttered, “you weren’t at work today?”

“Ah yeah.” He ran his hands through his hair looking bashful. “I wasn’t feeling great and Remus had a bit of a bad night, I wasn’t there for him and he needed some help. He actually ended up helping me.”

“Oh.” You replied eloquently.

You both stared at each other again.

Sirius broke the silence, “what did you want to tell me?”

What you were going to say to Sirius was to explain again now he was sober, why you behaved that way you did that night. At best you hoped for Sirius to know how wonderful he is and how much he deserved. At worst, well that didn’t bear thinking about, but now him looking at you intently with his beautiful face captured in the moonlight, lips drawing you in you could only stare at him in awe. However, a thought had just occurred to you: “why are you here?”

“You went looking for me everywhere to ask me why am I here?” He looked slightly amused at your confused expression.

“No, I wanted to tell you, to explain to you that…well…I need you to know that…I love you.”

His eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline as he opened his mouth in shock.

“No, wait, what?!” You were scrambling.

What the actual fuck! After hours of going over everything you wanted to say to him you went with: _I love you???_

Your brain was smoking, you love him? Well sure you admire him, he’s kind and clever and funny, the best shag you’ve ever had but love him? Well of course you only want to see him happy but that’s normal right? And ultimately, he has made you the happiest you’d been in a long time and you couldn’t picture your future without a Sirius figure popping up…ahhh. Yep love. Great.

“You love me?” Sirius whispered.

Bloody heck, timing Y/N! “Yeah about that, look can we go inside please and I’ll explain?” You didn’t give him a chance to answer, and swiftly moved past him opening your front door and crossing the threshold before he had even turned around.

You decided to stand in the kitchen fumbling with cups and a kettle.

“Y/N” Sirius called softly moving slowly towards you.

“Tea?” Not looking at him you switched the kettle on and searched for tea bags in your kitchen cupboards.

“Y/N.” He was right behind you now. You dropped your hands and let him steer your shoulders, turning you round to face him.

You stole a glance at him. He was looking at you so tenderly, a look that held compassion and kindness deep in his gaze. He opened his mouth to speak but you deftly pressed a finger to his lips halting his speech.

“Don’t.” You couldn’t take the rejection right now. Not before he knew how sorry you were for this whole mess. “Don’t speak, I know.”  
“You know?” He muffled onto your finger. The vibration of his voice and friction on your skin from his stubble opened a flood gate in your nether regions which were obviously not picking up the severity of this situation.

“I know you don’t feel the same. You can’t possibly! I have caused too much turmoil already.” You took a deep breath.

“You told me last night I hurt you and I am so sorry for that. I didn’t think you would be hurt and I certainly never assumed you would want to leave your job. I have admired you from a far ever since we met. I never imagined that you could possibly have any interest in me so I kept my feelings hidden. By the time you did, Antheia had talked my ear off about you and you were essentially forbidden, but I kept going because I started falling for you. I fell hard and when I thought about the future everything exploded, I didn’t want to start a relationship lying to you or my friend…it felt wrong and I thought the only way was to end it but you have left a gaping whole in my life and it hurts every time I move…I mean” You screwed up your eyes in pain. You didn’t want to guilt him into loving you. “…no I It doesn’t matter how I feel argh all I want you to know is that you are the most amazing, loving, incredible man, you changed my life and I will always be so grateful to have known you.” Exhaling with the effort it took to try and coerce your feelings into any semblance of meaning.

Sirius had not looked away during your admittance and he didn’t now. The seconds ticking as the silence grew was palpable.

You allowed yourself to search his eyes and found a multitude of emotions swirling: fear, surprise, lust, surety.

You had dropped your hand from his lips during your speech and in an absent-minded way lain it against his chest.

“You want me to go?” It was a question, he asked as he cupped your hand in his own holding it in place, not letting it move from his chest.

“No! No Sirius not at all, unless you want to?” He shook his head.

“I came here to apologise for my behaviour last night.” He paused looking at you. “I thought about apologising this morning but I couldn’t bear facing you so I left as soon as the dawn appeared.”

“Sirius do you remember what we talked about”

“I do.”

“So you are aware that there isn’t and never was another man, just you…and I guess Antheia who I was referring to.”

“Yes. I am sorry for barging in. I don’t know what came over me.” He gave a side smile at this.

“It’s fine, I deserved it.”

“You really believe that don’t you?” He asked concerned.

You didn’t reply, just nodded tears forming in your eyes.

“Ok, come with me.” Sirius took your hand and rushed out the door.

“Sirius, where are we going?”

“Last night I accepted a date with Antheia but I was not on my best behaviour…I drank too much as you soon found out.” You smiled at this remembering him attempting to climb your stairs.

“I was still upset with you and wanted to drown my sorrows. It wasn’t fair on Antheia but I don’t think she really cared.”

“What do you mean?”

“Apparate us to Antheia’s house and I’ll tell you.”

“What?”

“Come on.” He nudged you playfully. “I don’t know the address so hurry up!”

Nothing but the twinkle in his eye could have convinced you – it was addicting and right now you would do just about anything to keep it sparkling.  
Appearing with a pop on Antheia’s doorstep you watched Sirius walk towards the door and knock loudly.

There was movement inside and some scrambling before Antheia opened her door looking startled. “Y/N! Sirius! Ah how can I help?”

“Y/N here still feels compelled to get you and I together even though I told her our date didn’t go well.”

What the fuck was Sirius saying?

Antheia laughed and replied “Y/N I told you today that it’s fine, I’m a big girl, you can stop punishing yourself over this if you are.” You shook your head sadly and she continued. “You are not a bad person just be open about it – and be honest with your feelings and your friends. You know for a communications executive you aren’t very good at communicating!” She laughed at you opening and closing your mouth at this jab.

“But you’re…” your thought had died in your mind as you became distracted at movement inside Antheia’s flat. “…you’re not alone?” Looking at Antheia fully you just realised she was wearing little clothing, a mere tee shirt over bare legs on a cool April evening.

Antheia rolled her eyes and opened the door wider to reveal another scantily clad person. “Melvin!” You yelled in surprise.

“Hi Y/N, Sirius.” blushing red, Melvin moved out of sight and you looked back at Antheia.

“Yes Y/N my date didn’t go well with Sirius because I actually didn’t have feelings for him, I like Melvin – it took for our date for me to realise that and now, we’ll I don’t intend to hold back.”

Sirius chuckled and winked at Antheia.

“Ok Y/N, Sirius it’s been lovely but I have to go now, I’m…busy.”

Laughing at your perplexed face she added: “I can see this is going to take some time. We’ll talk about it Monday morning Y/N – you’re buying the coffee Ok?”  
You nodded eagerly as Antheia returned Sirius’ wink and gave you a genuine smile before closing the door.

You turned to Sirius, “you knew Melvin was there? How?”

Sirius chuckled again, grabbing your arm and disapparating you back to your living room. “Lucky guess- last night I mentioned I had seen her with Melvin a few times, she blushed so red I almost asked her if she was choking! It only took a bit of prodding from there for her to start realising her feelings for him are real and for me just a self made ideal. She seemed excited at the prospect of telling him this the next day: today.”

He looked at you intently.

“You see that’s what has happened on all of my dates after Azkaban. Everyone was expecting the idea of the me they made up in their head, no one took the time to see the reality inside and couldn’t understand when they didn’t feel the spark.” He paused and ran his finger down your cheek. “It was different with you, you see me the real me and still stick around. That’s why I decided not to give up on you even when I thought you were with someone else.”

“What are you saying Sirius?” Feeling lighter that you had in months, hope lifted its head in your mind and created flickering waves of shocks rooting you in place unable to look away from him.

“I’m saying I think I love you too, or at the very least am truly. Madly. Deeply. Falling for you.” He punctuated each word with a kiss on your cheek, neck, and jawline as he removed your coat.

Eyelids threatening to flutter shut in divine bliss and happiness at his words, it took great effort to keep them open to smile at him, cheekily saying,” I think those are song lyrics, Sirius!”

“Bugger.” He breathed. “Here I was thinking that was so smooth.” He had taken your waist in his hands and dropped more kisses on your collarbone and shoulder. You tilted your head allowing him more access as the kisses turned to licks and bites.

Your response to his words was a loving, slow moan and he smiled into your neck uttering, “I’ll just have to prove how smooth I am in another way.”

He ran his hand down your stomach and moved it under your shirts faltering only for a split second as he noticed the double layer then shaking it from his mind. Softly stroking your abdomen, he undid your pants and inched his hand lower and lower until it came into contact with your clit. Hearing your sharp intake of breath, he circled the sensitive bead with his thumb as he pressed his middle finger against your perineum sliding it forward into you and back.

“Fuck Sirius!” You gasped. How did he hit the right buttons every time? He quickened his pace biting your neck in the process then licking the spot he bit.  
“Godric Y/N, how are you so wet for me?” He moaned into your neck.

Feeling alive at his touch you purred, “Oh Sirius, trust me it is never dry when you are around.”

He growled removing his hand picking you up and placing you on the kitchen table as he feverishly devoured your mouth. Hungry, panting kisses, tongues swirling while his hands worked quickly taking off every piece of clothing in sight; yours and his.

He gripped you to him like you were his life raft and he was a drowning man, lost at sea.

Your hands ran all over him, tracing his pectorals, his muscled biceps, scars and lines as you explored him dropping your hands down to feel his erection; hard as a rock and already dripping with desire.

He let out a sharp hiss as you took him in your hand and began to massage slowly along his shaft.

“Two can play that game, Y/N.” He growled looking at you before reaching down and resuming his touch on your clit, adding a long finger inside you and curling it at just the right angle. “God you are beautiful.” He was one had holding your waist, the other quickly bringing you to the brink. He twitched every now and then as your hand on his cock was revving him up in the most incredibly way.

You noticed he was holding himself back. You had had enough experience with Sirius to tell. He was teasing you, torturing you slowly. He had twice now got you to the edge of orgasm only to stop his movements on your clit to pause and kiss you or flick your nipples with his tongue. The third time he did this you caught a mysterious glint in his eye and he couldn’t quite suppress a tell tale smirk. He was ruining you and enjoying every second of it. A sweet, excruciating punishment perhaps for time spent apart.

You loved it when he did this. When he took control, he was a natural dominant and you were only too happy to play subservient, especially when his role sent you to heaven and back often three times a night.

But tonight, you decided, was the night to turn this arrangement on its head.

“Stop!” You cried.

Sirius let go of your nipple from between his teeth, looking up at you with concern.

“Y/N is everything alright?”

“No Sirius! But it will be if you follow me.” The dominant tone in your voice got his attention but before he could say anything you took his hand, placed it firmly on your arse and squeezed it forcing him to grip you painfully. Merlin, it felt good.

“I want you to stop teasing me or I will make this very very hard for you.” You firmly gripped his cock as you said this and it throbbed beautifully.

“What do you want me to do?” Sirius’ voice came out as a rasp and looking into his eyes you could see the pupils dilate until his eyes were almost black with desire.  
“I want you to take me right here, right now. I want to feel you deep inside me as I know only you can go. I want to rock against you as you fill me up taking every inch of me with you and I want you to come inside me as you scream my name.”

If there was any grey left in his eyes it was gone now, they had blown dark with incredible desire. Sirius had always relished being loved by women but never had someone nearly made him come with just words. He so rarely was not in control during sex and the fact that you were reducing him to a dripping, shaking mess was thrilling.

Giving him a helpful nudge, you guided him by his cock closer to you, tilting your hips upwards. His actions were instant; the hand gripping your arse pulled you to the edge of the table and your folds to the tip of his cock which was aching.

Leaning up to lick his earlobe you whispered: “now fuck me, Sirius.”

He slammed into you, gripping both you and the table for resistance.

“Oh fuck!”

You loved the exquisite feeling of Sirius being inside you, the way he pumped in and out, touching you everywhere and completely satisfying you.

When he wasn’t kissing you sloppily, he was panting in your ear telling you how tight you were, how good you felt, and how much he missed you.

“I missed you too Sirius, oh Godric you feel good!” You clenched your walls around him as he thrust, rocking back matching his rhythm. “Yes, keep doing that, right there!” He was hitting a spot that was building inside of you. Growing stronger and stronger, higher and higher until…

“OH FUCK! SIRIUS!” You came, sparks flashing in front of you as you clung to him experiencing a climax that wasn’t stopping. “Oh God, Sirius it’s still going…”

Knowing how your pleasure turns him on and that this might push him over the edge too, you kept talking, your words barely distinguishable amongst a nonsense of moans until he heard you say: “please come for me Sirius, I love it when you come.” Hearing your voice seductively encouraging him mixed with the motions of your body, and your mouth on his neck threw him over the edge. He gripped your body, causing what you were sure would be delicious marks on your skin. He couldn’t hold you close enough when he stilled inside you yelling your name as he came.

He was still coming seconds later when you clenched, tightening your walls around his cock causing him to jolt, groan, and bite your neck as the last spurts of his come stopped.

He stayed there, biting and kissing your neck, hands still clutching you as he rocked slightly inside of you before pulling out.

Panting heavily, not trusting your legs to hold you up, you stayed seated on the table. Sirius had his head resting on your shoulder, arms propping him up either side of you as he shook away the spots dancing in front of his eyes.

Breathing slowly coming back he looked up at you, your glistening forehead, chest rising and falling with every pant, you looked like a dream.

“Y/N, that was…Oh wow…it was…”

“Fuck!” You exhaled.

“Yes!” He laughed, straightening up and only wobbling slightly.

He took your hand and you jumped off the table as he pulled you to him. Holding you tightly and kissing your head.

You were both still standing like that several minutes later and would have continued to do so had your leg not started to cramp.

Breaking apart and rubbing your thigh you announced: “I need tea, Sirius tea?”

“Sure.” He walked slowly around the room picking up various items of clothing until he found his jeans and shirt popping them on.

Excusing yourself to the bathroom you returned in new underwear and a tee shirt to find him splayed out on your couch, two teas on the coffee table, hot and steaming.

Looking at the strip of abdomen visible as his shirt rode up and following that to the obvious bulge in his pants you licked your lips. God! You had just had sex, mind blowing sex and here you were still longing for the man.

He noticed and smirked, “like what you see Y/N?”

“You know it.” You winked at him, grabbing a tea and situating yourself half on his lap and half on the couch. “If you lose the pants and shirt, I could possibly be persuaded to letting you stay the night!”

He laughed, sat up and placed his arms around you kissing you deeply before looking at you and clearing his throat.

“I meant what I said Y/N, I am falling for you, if I haven’t already. It wasn’t said to make you feel better, I really meant it.”

You stroked his hair. “I know and I meant what I said, I love you. It feels good to say how I feel so I’m not taking it back. Hmmm…” You sipped your tea, contemplating, “being open when you are scared of the reaction is actually quite liberating.”

“Mmmm you should do it more!” Sirius teased you.

“Well Ok then…” you also cleared your throat: “Sirius, that was the best sex of my life and I would quite like it to happen again and again for the foreseeable future as well as seeing you, but first…” there was a knock at the door. “Excellent timing, first we need to eat so I ordered us some food.”

A huge grin broke out on Sirius’ face as he watched you get up and make your way to the door, “Oh Merlin Y/N, if I didn’t love you before, this would do it!”

You laughed as you opened the door and accepted the order, not noticing you were still in your underwear and giving the delivery man an indecent view.

You were so happy however that even if you had noticed, you wouldn’t have cared.


End file.
